Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Ironworkers are superheros


       I wrote this to recognize what you do for a living. The sacrifices you makes daily for our family.  I had no idea so many people would fall in love with this writing. I've had so much feedback it's unbelievable! It resonated with hearts all over the world and if just a few more people now appreciate what Ironworkers do, I feel I have done my job with this article. Thank you all for reading!

               Being married to Iron Man

My husband is a real life superhero. I don't just say that because he works hard and he's a good dad, I say it for many other reasons too.
1. Being that he's an ironworker, technically I can call him my own personal Iron Man. It's corny, I know, but there's so much to what he does, to what all Ironworkers do, that makes them superhuman. What we see as dangerous and insane they see as just another day.
2. The field of iron working really is the backbone (or steel frame) of America. They build our majestic skyscrapers, our town halls, our schools and hospitals that educate and care for our families, the sports stadiums where we watch our favorite games, the arenas where our kids play sports, the airplane hangers that our military parks their airplanes, and so much more.
3. They really do scale tall buildings like a superhero, but without capes. Which brings me to my next reason, which, in my opinion, is the most important one.
4. Ironworkers literally risk their lives each and every day. They all have their own reasons for doing what they do, and one of the reasons my husband does it is to provide for his family. He rarely ever complains as he wakes up before dawn to head out for the day. While me and the kids are sleeping soundly, he ties up his work boots and quietly gives me a kiss. He might not know it, but I'm always awake and always grateful that he takes the time to do that. We have two paintings above our bed: “Always kiss me goodnight,” and “Always kiss me goodbye.” The goodnight one was my idea, but the goodbye one was his idea because he wanted a daily reminder that every morning could be the last time we say goodbye, so take nothing for granted. Then he pushes that thought out of his head, hops in his truck, and ventures off to wherever the job requires. Most days he works sun up to sundown in the blistering heat or bitter cold. Sometimes in the snow, rain, or wind. The only relief he gets from extreme weather conditions is a few days in the fall and spring if the temperature is perfect or if it's raining so hard that they have to call it a day.
A few times a year he has to travel out of state for work. Anywhere from four to 14 hours away from home. Usually to a place where it's much hotter or colder than he's accustomed to. Sometimes he's only gone for a week, other times he's gone for a few months. He might get a weekend to come home during that time but only if the job is running on schedule. If so, then he spends the only two days in a row that he has off, driving several hours to and from home for sometimes only one night with his family. He's missed birthdays, anniversaries, school plays, sports games, first steps, first words, and so much more that he will never get back. Iron workers not only risk their lives, but their marriages and other relationships as well. Over time they become tough, calloused, and even numb, when necessary. They find their coping mechanism and hold on for dear life. Their bodies age much faster than ours. They are tired in more ways than you can imagine. It's hard to understand why anyone would choose to live a life like this, but those who do it might argue that this life chose them. That once they started, it became ingrained in them. Some have left to venture down other roads, but most come back to it because it runs in their veins.
From what I gather through late night talks with my husband or overhearing the laughing and reminiscing of the guys at our barbecues, is that iron working is a brotherhood. They are a big family made up of a strong group of crazy ass guys who would do anything for each other, and in some cases have. They have watched each other rise, and watched some fall. They have watched some lose everything that matters to them, and they have watched some even lose their lives. They are strong, resilient, and amazing. They are superheroes.

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Parenting Advice from a Pro

 

Let me start off by making it perfectly clear that I love my kids very much. They come first in my life and they're very well taken care of. They are my world and I would be lost without them (probably lost on a beach or backpacking in a foreign country but lost none the less). Now if your first instinct was to judge me then just stop reading and please proceed to the nearest sewing blog that teaches you how to make children's clothing out of recycled plastic.  That's where all the other perfect moms belong. But me, I am far from perfect. I make mistakes daily and I try to find the humor in all the chaos (ha, get it ).
      When my kids were born, yes it was love at first sight, but a grand flip did not switch and cause me to have endless amounts of patience and affection along with all the right words in every situation.

    If you claim that happened for you well than you are lying and obviously trying to cover up a deep parental insecurity. Stop, relax, we all suck at this in one way or the other and that's ok! All that matters is that we're doing our best and trying a little harder each day. Cut yourself some slack.. we all started this demanding full-time job in the same situation.. without absolutely no training.!! I mean imagine a brain surgeon being thrown into the OR without an ounce of preparation! It's fight or flight..  and if you've made it far enough to be reading random parenting blogs.. then obviously you chose to stay and fight..so congrats to you :)

   I am one of those moms that believes in being honest with your kids.. for the most part. Stuffing broccoli in a chicken nugget isn't an outright lie is it? At times I may even be too honest. My kids do not, nor ever have, believed in Santa, the Tooth Fairy, or any of the other holiday mascots. I believe my kids will have enough dysfunction with me as their Mom. I don't need to cause them any unnecessary trust issues when they find out I've been lying to them about strangers sneaking into our house at night. Plus my parenting skills will cause enough need for therapy so there's no urgency to add more trama to their psyche. I'd love to say there's an honorable reason for this but I'll be honest, I like taking credit for the gifts. It kind of makes up for all the mistakes I make throughout the year. "Sure I forgot you at the grocery store last May but do you see this dancing Minnie Mouse I got you?"  It's a fast acting technique that deflects from the real issues.

Well I guess I should tell you a little bit about myself, if you haven't stopped reading and snarled in disgust at my dry humor approach to parenting. I'm in my  mid thirties. I have two kids by birth, both of whom I got deathly ill after delivering by C-section. ( Hey that could be why I have a chip on my shoulder about this whole mothering thing). Then the powers-that-be caused me to fall in love with and marry a man who has several kids of his own. What can I say I'm a glutton for punishment ;) I've had several miscarriages, all probably a sign that maybe I wasn't cut out for this line of work. I'm stubborn. Tell me I can't do something and I'll show you! Plus, I wanted to see what all the mothering hype was about.

Now I'll have two children with intimacy issues because their own mom can't even wipe their boogers without dry heaving and who's more comfortable giving high fives over hugs. Relax, I'm kidding...mostly ;) So now you know what I'm all about. You can choose to turn your nose up at my raunchy approach to surviving motherhood or you can laugh along while I choose to find humor in all of the chaos. (HA!! I did it again!)

Disclaimer:  I'm in no way poking fun at having miscarriages, everyone has their coping mechanisms for tough situations, mine just happens to be humor.

Introducing Chaos

       Let me tell you a little about myself. I've been writing for years but haven't have the courage to step out into the scary world wide web.... until now :) I published my very first article last month and the results were mind blowing! Within hours the number of readers was in the thousands!

      Ultimately that's what gave me the courage to start this. I don't care about the money, I don't care about becoming popular, I care about creating a platform to make people laugh and relate. Another reason I was hesitant to get started is because I keep hearing that I need a niche. Well I don't have one and I don't want to be put in a box! I write about anything and everything. Sometimes it serious, sometimes it's funny. Writing has always been therapeutic for me so it would be impossible for me to commit to one topic. I'm a mother but this isn't a parenting blog, I'm a wife but this isn't a marriage blog...you get the picture. Of course I'll write about topics that are relevant in my life, but not always. Sometimes I write about random things like current events, or powerful music, or what it's life caring for someone with a debilitating disease... or whatever pops in my head that day. One thing you can count on is that most of my light hearted work includes a heavy amount of sarcasm. I just want this to be a place where you can find humor through the chaos (ok that's going to get old QUICK!)

Tying my Writer's Noose

               Hanging up the old hat         I recently started a Blog about how I navigated a messy custody case without a lawyer. How i...